How to Quarantine Your Marriage
by: Gordon Dasher
As the coronavirus makes its rounds in the United States, it leaves in its trail a wake of fear and dread. Trust me, I don’t want to get this virus, nor do I want anyone else to get it either. I take precautions — I wash my hands and am practicing a little social distancing myself. Trust me when I tell you that this is torture for me, but since I’m in a high-risk age group, I’m doing what I can.
But I have to be honest here — a lot of what I see in response to the threat borders on the irrational. One thing I haven’t done is to stock up on a truckload of toilet paper, for example. I can’t for the life of me figure out what that’s all about. If you need that much toilet paper, you don’t have the coronavirus — you have something else entirely.
Instead, how about washing hands and keeping six feet away from our fellow humans? Or maybe just stay home and enjoy a little family time? That’s a commonsense approach.
But I don’t really want to talk about COVID-19. I’m sick of hearing about it. What I do want to discuss is how we can become overcome with alarm and fear when we’re threatened with physical extinction, but we don’t even bat an eye when Satan comes sneaking around to do his dirty business.
I’ve been a pastor for a number of years. My wife and I met with countless couples in crisis over the years, and do you want to know what we’ve never heard from one single couple (that I can remember)? Never has anyone said, “Gordon, I notice that a lot of marriages are in danger of collapsing, and I was just wondering what we should do in order to make sure that our marriage doesn’t get sick.”
The truth is, marriages don’t get broken on the day that the word gets out that they are broken. No, the cracks had manifested themselves months and years before. Some of the cracks were there when we said “I do!” We just didn’t know it yet. And because of our pride, we weren’t plugged into community with others who could point out the warning signs. So the cracks became fissures, and the fissures became chasms. And before people know it, it looks like it’s all over.
I love it when I am able to enter into community with couples in crisis and walk with them the difficult path to wholeness and healing. But sometimes couples don’t make it in spite of how hard we pour truth into their marriage. There’s too much water under the bridge.
However, as much as I love healing and redemption in marriage, I love it even more when people are alarmed at the small things that can grow and eventually blow a marriage up BEFORE the point of crisis. It’s far better to walk with God in your marriage from day one than to try and put the pieces back together at some distant place down the road.
No relationship is more important than the one you have with your spouse. We should act like it and prepare for an awesome marriage.
Quarantine your marriage from the virus that the Evil One loves to spread around. Be alarmed when he shows up. Wash your spiritual hands. Listen to God’s word. Plug into a community group or a small group in your church where people watch out for one another. And feel free to read Al and Lisa’s books where they discuss God’s design for marriage. Continue to read their blog.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure … (Hebrews 13:4)