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Al & Lisa Robertson / Forgiveness  / Why I Speak Out About the Pain of Abortion

Why I Speak Out About the Pain of Abortion

by: Lisa Robertson

There are few topics more divisive than abortion. And there are few topics of conversation that cause me more pain than abortion. It’s personal — VERY personal.

You see, I am a victim of abortion. I say victim because the promise made to me when I found myself in the unenviable position of being pregnant at the tender age of sixteen was that it was just tissue inside of my womb, and removing the “tissue” would allow me to go on with my life. I recall the nurse at the abortion clinic telling me, “After today, you’ll never have to think about it again.”

I’ll let you in on a little secret — decades after removing the “tissue,” not a day goes by that I don’t think about the child that I allowed to be “removed” by my abortion doctor. Not a single day. And let me tell you something else — in the community of women that I’ve come to be a part of since coming out about my abortion, I am not alone. The women that I know — the ones who are not statistics but real women — the single biggest regret that most of us share is that we aborted our babies.

The guilt and shame of having aborted my unborn child plagued me for years. I’m still not proud of what I did. In my defense, if I can call it a defense, I was very young and naïve. What did I know? Still, it haunted me — a fact that I kept hidden for years. The shame grew until it overwhelmed me.

Other women react to their abortions differently. They respond with anger and resentment toward anyone who stands opposed to the practice of abortion. Often these women are victims of men who objectified them and then discarded them to “handle” the situation on their own. They’ve already been controlled and dominated enough. The last thing they need is for someone to get up in their faces and heap more shame on them.

My appeal is not one of shame and guilt but one of redemption and freedom from shame. While I’m still not proud of what I did, and while I’m convinced that aborting my unborn child was the single worst decision I could have made under the circumstances, I am free of the guilt and shame that once plagued me because Christ died to set me free from it. That’s the message that changes hearts and lives.

We want to make you aware of two opportunities to hear my abortion story. First of all, you can read the interview we did with Focus on the Family: Desperate Forgiveness for a Past Abortion. Secondly, you can watch the live interview below.

Part 1:

Part 2:

In addition, I tell my story in two of our books — Desperate Forgiveness and A New Season, both available on our website.

Rest assured, I do not like talking about my abortion. It’s one of the darkest days in my life — perhaps the darkest of all. But my goal is to embolden other women to have the courage to search for other paths. I fully understand that the “other paths” may appear to be more difficult in the midst of crisis, but I personally know that the path of aborting an unborn child is the most difficult of all.

If you’ve experienced an abortion and still struggle with the pain, please leave a comment below — we are all in this together. I love you all, and I want you to know that God loves you too.

23 Comments
  • Terri Alexander
    March 12, 2020 at 5:30 pm

    I have lived with the pain for 30 years and I have only shared with a few people because of the judgement that I hear from others. Even though I have multiple times asked for forgiveness and know that I am covered by the grace of God, I still sometimes think why would he forgive me. It’s so painful and heartbreaking most days even after all this time.

    • Dena
      March 14, 2020 at 3:50 pm

      Dear Terri,
      You know he has forgiven. He died on the cross and rose again for us. Now, forgive yourself and let his love and mercy shine through you. My prayers are with you.

    • Lynn Murray
      March 14, 2020 at 3:53 pm

      I’m so sorry for your pain. Sometimes it hardest to forgive ourself. I’m praying for your peace.

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 10:06 pm

      Terri,
      God forgives you because he loves you. He loves you because you are his child. You are made in his image. Know that the cross & the blood that flowed from it can & does cover ANY sin we commit. Find a pregnancy center in your area. They offer classes for post abortive women. They are wonderful people usually volunteering because of their own sin and regrets. They would love to help you find Gods redeeming love for you. Praying for your healing!

    • Dennis P. Clark , PH.D
      March 16, 2020 at 3:40 pm

      Teri, Please do punish yourself. If you are truly sorry and have asked Jesus to
      Forgive you, Jesus has !
      If you if you remember Jesus’s one commandment
      commandment Love one
      another as I have loved you! Please move on and love others, then you arr following Our Lord’s commandment if have forgiven you! The deed is
      done !

  • Karen Gertis
    March 14, 2020 at 4:16 pm

    I live with the guilt and shame from my abortion everyday. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret it and ask God for forgiveness. The darkest day of my life was that day.

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 9:19 pm

      Karen,
      I still struggle with regret as well. I have 2 grown children & 6 grandchildren, I think about the generations of lives. But the more I study the nature of God, what He gave up to save us (while we’re still sinners), what He left us with (His spirit) the more I realize how much he loves us. He wants a relationship with us. He longs to redeem us back to Him. He doesn’t need us, he wants us! There is no sin greater than his love for us. His cross represents all the sacrifice. His blood represents the cleansing & his resurrection represents the redemption. We only have to chose Him.
      Find a pregnancy center close by & see if they offer counsel & class for the post abortive women. I’ve found that most of these centers are run by women who chose to abort or someone close to them did. They would live to help you over the guilt and shame! In Christ, we are new creations. The old is gone, the new has come. Choose redemption!

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 10:12 pm

      Karen,
      It was my darkest too! But God loves us so much that he sent his son to take on the guilt and shame of our sins. We don’t have to carry this burden any longer. It is nailed to the cross. God gave his sacrifice, Jesus gave his blood & together, they left their spirit to direct us & speak on our behalf. To speak when we don’t know or can’t say the words. Give your burden to Christ! He can bear it. He’d love to redeem you!

  • Suzanne Cottingim
    March 14, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    I have lived with the pain for 49 years. My parents forced me when I was 16 to get an abortion. Every day I think about it and every year on the due date I have major depression. I have learned to deal with through Jesus.

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 9:26 pm

      Suzanne,
      Jesus is the only way to get thru it. I tell my story because God redeemed me & set me free of the guilt & shame. Regret, I think it will always be with me but when I can speak & one woman chooses life either thru adoption or by raising her child, I know it’s what God wanted me to do with the hope he gave me. Jesus – the only hope. I pray you give this to him & leave it @ the foot of the cross!

  • Amy Taylor
    March 14, 2020 at 7:09 pm

    I struggle everyday with my decision. If you want to call it that. I was told by my parents that I was having an abortion. I was not ok with it at all. The doctor told them he wouldn’t preform it if I was not ok with it. My parents kept pressuring until I finally gave in. They told me it was just a ball of blood. There was no baby yet. That was 24 years ago. I hate when I have to fill out paperwork for the doctors office because it asks how many times have you been pregnant. The only ones who know are my husband and parents. I always wonder if it would have been a boy or girl. What they would have looked like, their personalities. It is the hardest thing to forget and to live with. My oldest daughter and I are really close. We tell each other everything, but I can not bare to tell her. I don’t want her to judge me. I know that the abortion is what started my depression. This is just an awful experience to live through. No one understands unless they have been through it.

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 9:34 pm

      Amy.
      You’re right. It’s a “takes one to know one” kind of trauma. I always add my aborted child & my miscarried child. I never want to forget. I want to remember what God redeemed me from. I no longer suffer from shame & guilt. I gave those to God because he’s the only one able to deal with it. Christ’s blood was enough to cover even the sin of abortion. Trust your daughter, she may surprise you. Tell her what GREAT things God has done in your life, her being one of the greatest!

  • Seann Blanton
    March 14, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    Can you pray for me as the Father of a Aborted child? Me and Wife are both forgiven by Jesus ! But this was prior to Us being married, before our relationship with Jesus and she received bad advice . I forgave her,loved her, married her and almost 21 years married she is my bestfriend! But I feel like I hurt daily in carrying this also. I can only imagine how she must feel ! Anyways the Father needs help alot of the times as well ! Thanks

    • Lisa Robertson
      March 14, 2020 at 9:56 pm

      Seann,
      You are so right! Many times we do not consider the fathers of the aborted. Their hearts hurt also. They live with guilt & pain & the constant reminder. They too feel helpless & hopeless. I pray they find hope & healing and forgiveness in Christ. I will be praying for you & your wife. Jesus is the great redeemer & healer. He can set us free! I pray you both allow that.

      • seann blanton
        April 23, 2020 at 4:04 am

        Thank you ! Please tell Al I love the Unashamed Podcast,I watch faithfully and I’m Blessed by that Ministry! God Bless you all !

  • Steve Wright
    March 14, 2020 at 8:29 pm

    Dear Lisa, I was raised in the Carthage, TN church of Christ. I am opposed to abortion, and have stopped being QUIET about it just recently. At age 72 I have had an incredible life, 4 grandsons, currently faithful member of a local church of Christ. wonderful wife (48 yrs) and 3 very successful children, etc. etc.—-my very best to you and yours.

  • Lisa Robertson
    March 14, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    Steve,
    Praise God! Thank you for that & I pray continued blessings on you

  • Jeffrey
    March 15, 2020 at 11:18 am

    I am a man who got my girlfriend pregnant at the age of 17. I was young and selfish. I did not know Jesus at the time. It seemed like a easy fix, I didn’t go to any of the appointments. The day of the abortion I did drive her the clinic. But I got drunk. I was so insensitive to what was happening. I didn’t realize it but deep down inside I knew it was wrong. A few
    years later I accepted Jesus as my Savior. But it still took my almost 30 years after wards to actually forgive myself for what I did. I carried that guilt for a long time. I felt I couldn’t be forgiven. My son would be in his 40’s now. I wrote a letter to my ex-girlfriend apologizing for my actions and how it changed her life. Her womb was damaged during the procedure and she couldn’t have children. Abortion is evil. It leaves people emotionally, spiritually and physically damaged. Only through the Grace of Jesus Christ can we be repaired and forgiven.. I regret that decision, worst thing I’ve ever done but I know someday if I remain faithful we will be in heaven together.

  • Donna
    March 15, 2020 at 11:48 am

    I was 17 when my mother basically gave me no options but to have an abortion. I still have such shame of allowing her to pressure me to think that I had no option. It may slip my mind but then there is always something that brings it right back to my memory. When I see others around the age that child would have been I think…wow I could have a child that age. Crazy I know. I also have had a very hard time forgiving my mother for pushing me to do that. I finally told my husband and children (since they are older) because the subject would come up or someone would say something and it would make my insides hurt. I’m thankful that Jesus knew before and died for my sins. But it doesn’t make the memory go away.

  • Celeste
    March 15, 2020 at 6:52 pm

    I can totally identify the same exact thing happened to me at the age of 16 and for years and years it haunted me I had anxiety attacks and had to be put on medication. Until I found forgiveness in Jesus. Thank you for your strength and sharing your story❤️

  • Maureen Nokes
    March 17, 2020 at 9:13 am

    Today is the 39th Anniversary of my abortion. A decision to this day that I regret. I only told my mother that I was pregnant. My older sister was getting married that summer. My mother insisted on me having an abortion and shaming me. I love my mom to no end and was verbally able to forgive her just before she died. She also asked forgiveness for it in her last rites. I don’t carry guilt, I am passed that. But just the wondering was it girl or boy, hair or no hair,big feet or small. I too answer the questions about pregnancy with this child and the one I miscarried. I have 3 beautiful children and 2 grandchildren and one on the way. I love them with all my heart just as I do my little one.

  • Kathleen
    March 17, 2020 at 9:45 am

    I have tears reading all of these comments. Thirty-one years and counting since I had an abortion at 19 years old. I was young and the culture we live in that is so accepting of abortion, not to mention the sentiment out there when you are young,-that it will “ruin your life” to have a baby. It breaks my heart to this very day and sometimes you feel like you just want to clear the feeling/act from your body, but you can’t. I have asked forgiveness more times then I can count, I have confessed, I have talked with my sister and close friends. I think I know God forgives me and I think I even forgive myself, but I wish I could find peace with it. Sadly I just wish it never happened and that can never be true so I’m not sure I will ever make peace with it. I am blessed with three children now and sometimes I question why I even deserve this, but I cherish them and am so very grateful! It was so helpful to read all these comments and know I am not alone in all I am feeling. Wishing all of you true peace! God Bless!

  • Brian Sexton
    March 19, 2020 at 2:55 pm

    Lisa,
    I am so thankful for your’s and Al’s friendship and grateful that you are so willing to tell your story. You’ve helped so many across the country and even here in the comments. Even in the midst of what you went though, God is using it to get glory through His forgiveness.

    Keep sharing your story. You are impacting so many who have walked this same road.

    We love you so much!
    Brian and Tonya Sexton

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